It’s hard to find words for joy
And who wants to read happy poems?
Poetry begins in a pang
And sings the still, sad song of humanity
But I’m done with sad
This growing blithe spirit of mine
Hail to me my blithe spirit
“O friends, no more these sad tones
“Let us instead strike up more pleasing and more joyful ones!”
But what would those joyful tones be?
I don’t know, standing here bathed in light
Just at the tunnel exit, the darkness behind me
The interminable tunnel, the darkness when you’re in it
And I’ve been in it so long, so interminably long
Don’t we coalesce in misery together like an overcast sky
This amassing thunder-cloud with its strike of God-shock
That Götterfunken Schiller revealed; Beethoven immortalized
This confrontation with misery, this visit with trauma
This release, these successive explosions of what is not
Moksha, the liberation of which the Indic speak
There is no sunshine like just after the thunder-storm
Inspiring the shepherd’s hymn of thanksgiving
I can enjoy in golden moments, enjoy playing the keys, the music
I act effortlessly at times, have drive
Not compel a soporific lethargy to get it done
The tunnel behind me reaches back in misery
Back, behind the blithe light in which I now stand
At the tunnel exit
And today I am happy, happy at this moment I want
TUNNEL EXIT
13 Jul 2021 Leave a comment
in Blog Tags: depression, God, happy, joy, liberation, moksha, music, poem, poetry, sad
BITTERNESS: THE WORLD THAT GOD FORGOT
06 Feb 2021 Leave a comment
in Blog Tags: broken, creation, faith, God, poem, poetry, rhyme, sad, salvation, world
What kind of God, as He is called by some
Left the world and left the world into
Our very hands in His infinite wisdom.
God has more faith in us than I do.
Seems we humans botch things so badly
And we’re all so slow to learn and grow
I look around this broken world so sadly
And wonder how God just leaves it all so
We are the arbiters that that bring salvation
This world that God created and forgot
This world, this mess, this, our own creation
Isn’t God’s fault. We got us where we got
God trusted us with more than I would have
And left us to manage—made us manage
Hoped we would care about each other, love
Manage creation, each other, our age
God has more hope for us than I do
Yet here we are we are our own future
We serve ourselves and so deserve our due
God sees all, sees us and knows us, too
Knows we are the sickness and the cure
God has more faith in us than I do.
EVOCATIVE NOMINATIVES
08 Aug 2020 Leave a comment
in Blog Tags: avant garde, earth, experimental, God, heaven, love, Nature, poem
Sky mountains waterfalls ocean depths
Snowflakes white earth rivers frozen lakes
Leaves in the air fallen on the sodden ground enveloped by the season
Raindrops vaporescent oceans downpours clouds
Mist meadows fog sky rainbows
Faces mobs friends the human race
Love a God above devotion heaven sky and earth
A DALLIANCE WITH ATHEISM
10 May 2020 4 Comments
in Blog Tags: atheism, belief, fashion, God, heart, logic, profess, scripture, thinking, unseen, zeitgeist
Atheism, the Greek alpha privative applied to God
As if a letter could negate
The Word
But fashion has the apparent privative power
Belief is hard come by these days
In my day I’ve dallied with atheism
More as an academic posture, professional pose, poseur
Pretty important position to impertinently profess
To be unprofessional regarding the confession of God
As fashion
Quite unlike my younger years, when I didn’t know
In my gut
I didn’t know and I don’t know now, but believe
It’s hard to keep faith in mind and heart and life
In your gut
With a thinking mind, overthinking, ubermentation
Entertainment of doubts
It’s quite a thing to believe in things unseen
Unseemly, in fact, out of fashion
As if my mortal soul matters as does a hemline
Lifeline to eternity the believing mind, heart, life.
God whispers
Aethereal evidence
Evidence acquired through prior assent alone
Solipsistic criteria, a cry in the wilderness
That is this world, this world view, this zeitgeist, the spirit of this age
The Spirit and Words that give life
Life in a time and place in which belief is optional
Optimal
Words, Spirit, life, script for acting good, scripture
Inscribed on the heart, covenant, conformity to script
Information for theological formation not logical formulation
God whispers
We hear only with prior assent
Ascent out of that which is for this world
That which Is
That which makes this world
Faith in a doubt-filled world, the denial of the world, self-denial, other world
COMMUNION, COMMUNITY, AND AUTONOMY
30 Sep 2019 Leave a comment
in Blog Tags: church, communion, community, God, nightclub, serenity, solipsism
We touch, talk, give and take to different degrees
Sacred, social, solitary, self-interested
Communion, camaraderie, cut-off, conceited
Bars, sports clubs, cocktails with co-workers
Church, sacred space, congregation, Communion with God
Caring, caritas, charity, spiritual love
All-giving, other-oriented, mutuality
Couples, partners, children, family
The afternoon card-party with a couple serene and sober
Nighttime in the club, the regulars, high and drunk
Broken dialogue, semblance of camaraderie
Familiarity, unhallowed ground, stabbings at connection
A handshake, a wave, watching out for one another
We meet, touch, talk, connect, care
Contingent on our commitment to community
Contingent on the levels of self: hallowed, hollow, sincere, serene, solipsistic
Ascending and descending the soul’s ladder within the social spectrum
FOR EVERYTHING YOU ARE
19 Sep 2019 Leave a comment
in Blog Tags: comfort, faithfulness, family, God, gratefulness, lonely, love, poem, poetry, support
I have been alone, but haven’t felt lonely
You have been single, but with a family
Now we are together, now my life is full
For everything you are, I am ever grateful
I am grateful, too, for all of your support
When I go through trials, you give me comfort
Your voice is always, “Yes;” you won’t allow me doubt
You assure me everything will all work out
I give thanks to God for everything that is you
In an uncertain world, you and your love is true
I just wanted you to know the way I feel
My love for you and faithfulness to you are real
You make my world complete through all you are and all you do
OUT THERE
29 Jul 2019 Leave a comment
in Blog Tags: broken, God, hope, isolation, memories, poetry, relationships, religion, trust
What do you do with time
We shared, when we are no longer we
Those memories of us, photos of us
Places we went together
Time when we shared when we were we
How does an individual repair trust?
Broken trust, broken heart
What does an individual do with broken love
Innocence lost, admiring, trusting innocence
Echoes of expulsion from the Garden
I can hear blues even in The Ode to Joy
Guess I won’t be happy for a while
There is redemption with God,
Peace in religious systems
If feeling better isn’t cheating
I try not to get mad at everybody
They have done nothing to me
But from this place, place of downcast dour
I can’t find equanimity, the civil speech
I must maintain with everybody
And so I wait in the darkness
Without hope, for hope would be for the wrong thing
Without will, for desire would be misplaced
There is only the waiting and the darkness
Which shall be the darkness of God
A VANTAGE POINT
30 Mar 2019 Leave a comment
in Blog Tags: consequences, God, poetry, slipping back
I don’t know if it was four days of Tylenol
Or fever
Or four days bedridden, . . .
But I saw my whole life in a vision
In a critique
God tried to touch me
I fear I don’t have the strength
To sustain God’s touch
Slipping back may have consequences
Too dire to contemplate
I had a glimpse
I have a vantage-point
I see where I have been
A part of me won’t be the same again
SOMEBODY OUGHT TO PAY
14 Feb 2019 Leave a comment
in Blog Tags: bipolar disorder, ego, God, humility, meds, poetry, sedating, sleeping, verse
Who do I get mad at?
Ordinarily, somebody would pay
What it did to me
What I went through:
Uncontrollable tears
Whole week-ends spent in bed sleeping
Trying to work through sedating meds
Fighting to live, pay the bills
Someone ought to pay
But . . .
But did it break my contract with the world?
Point me to other import
Than making it to the top
Making it
Other matters do matter
Did it teach me that?
Break my ego
(Which is always a good thing)
Humility
Something I never knew
Until it happened
Did it teach me?
I’m more sound today
And I look back
To how I was
What I went through
How well I feel, now
Someone ought to pay
Or is there another way to see it?
God only knows
David Fekete 