He had a Kawai baby grand piano in his living room
It wasn’t a Bosendorfer, Steinway, or Yamaha
But he had a baby grand and my roommate a long time ago
Had an inherited Steinway with real ivory keys, she let me play it
Play way into the night, a nurse now, and a music school graduate
With her inherited Steinway, and he is a psychologist with his Kawai
Laura Rain played Blues on Whyte in Edmonton, and
The Edmonton Bluesfest; I heard she played Buddy Guy’s
I first heard Monkey Junk at the Salmon Arm Folk and Roots Festival
Playing on a side stage; Taj Mahal headlined on the mainstage
My sister had a Taj Mahal album in the ‘70’s; and Monkey Junk
Can fill a moderate concert hall and they’ll always work in Canada
My friend the psychologist got a friend of his to cast his wedding rings
And having lived in Southwest Florida for decades could always get gigs
He wouldn’t be able to fill a concert hall, but there weren’t any, anyways
Just the symphony hall, and I heard B. B. King play there, once
And I’m a Swedenborgian minister of a small, aging, dwindling church
An accomplished piano player in Nashville asks me spiritual questions
And critiques recordings of my original music free of charge
He plays cruise ships and exclusive summer resort hotel bars, solo,
With an illustrious past, having performed with industry giants,
Making a living in an undependable business. We’re all making a living.
And there’s a place for art in life, however life ends up construed
Whatever life is called, or identity defined, be it by a career, aspiration
Passion or calling, writing on a business card, how others know you
Like my friend with the Kawai, or his friend who cast his wedding rings
Or the music graduate with her inherited Steinway, who is a nurse
B. B. King, Taj Mahal, Monkey Junk, Laura Rain, my musical friends,
My musical inclinations, the thousands I spent on instruments
I, a Swedenborgian minister at a small, aging, dwindling church,
Still happy, contented with my life, contented with my inclinations
And their manifestation, my pay, the recognition of my peers, my friends,
My musical instruments and their exercise, my career, my attainments,
Those I yet pursue in these advanced years, the lingering dreams I cherish
The moderate drive moving my intentions through happy reflections
WE ALL SEE THE SAME MOON
24 May 2021 Leave a comment
in Blog Tags: aging, art, BB King, Bosendorfer, Buddy Guy, dreams, Kawai, Monkey Junk, music, Nashville, poem, poetry, Salmon Arm, spirituality, Steinway, Swedenborg
WHEN MY ILLNESS WAS MY LIFE
27 Jan 2021 1 Comment
in Blog Tags: 12-Steps, art, bipolar disorder, drop-in center, life, love, NAMI, poem, poetry, psychiatrist, recovery, salvation, spirituality
I was the bipolar poster boy
When my illness was my life:
Super Consumer
Drop-In Center
Support Group
NAMI Organization
Seminar presentations
Academic publications
Consumer community
High functioning.
The eyes of all consumers waited upon me
—We understand one another—
I was my psychiatrist’s favorite
When my illness was my life
And the textbooks labeled me mentally ill, label me
A chapter now closed on the fulness of my life
I can hardly recollect in my life now
Realize that the textbooks still label me mentally ill
My life then, when my illness was my life
My 12-Step community was my life
About which I must keep anonymity
At the level of press, radio, film, and poetry
My only friends
My social life
My whole life
Salvific meetings
Salve
Salvation
Save
And healing persists in the 12-Steps
And I live the principles in all my affairs
But all my affairs are not only in and of
The meeting rooms I attend
All my affairs are not only the 12-Step community
Life does not launch me into recovery
Not as failed life once did
Recovery launches me into life
I must live with, but not by, my illnesses
My illnesses walk with me, will ever walk with me
While I walk this mortal coil
I embrace the whole world that walks among life outside meeting rooms
Life that finds fulfilment among hypergoods that thrive outside meeting rooms
Outside the Consumer Drop-In Center
Recovery, sanity, serenity, meetings, pills
Launch
Launch me
Launch me into fulness of life
This, my life of
Music
Verse
Friends
Amusements
Work
Study
Love
Spirituality
Fulness of life
Life outside the drop-in center, meeting rooms
The illnesses that no longer make me who I am
No longer make life what life is
The chapter closed
Poem concluded
I compose new stories in the fulness of life I live
Write new poetry
The Son of This Slave Woman
24 Jun 2020 Leave a comment
in Blog Tags: Breonna Taylor, Genesis, George Floyd, Indigenous, Isaac, Ishmael, Matthew, race, Rayshard Brooks, religion, residential schools, Sharia Law, slavery, spirituality, Swedenborg
The Son of This Slave Woman
Rev. Dave Fekete, Ph.D.
June 21, 2020
Genesis 21:8-21 Matthew 10:24-39 Psalm 86
The readings from this week’s lectionary are extremely timely. Well, they were written thousands of years ago. But they are current, timely. I write this talk conscious of the upheaval going on in the US. But I am a Canadian Permanent Resident, and I write also conscious of my Canadian home. The issue of these readings is privilege. When Sarah says, “the son of this slave woman shall not inherit along with my son Isaac,” she is claiming privilege for her son. Hagar’s son Ishmael was of a different race from Sarah’s son Isaac. Ishmael was Arab, Isaac was an Israelite. Further, Ishmael was the son of a slave. Isaac was the son of a free Israelite. Sarah doesn’t want her slave’s son to share in the prosperity of her privileged son.
The parallels with the racial issues surfacing in the US are clear. Protesters are talking about systemic racism. And a primary indicator of systemic racism is the wage disparity between white Americans and Americans of color. Another salient issue is the disparity in policing between white Americans and Americans of color. The murders of George Floyd, Rayshard Brooks, and Breonna Taylor by police are but three examples of countless cases that people of color know about in their day to day lives. A newscaster on TV brought up the fact that an African-American senator had been pulled over by the police seven times in the past year. A US senator! Then the newscaster looked straight into the camera and asked, “How many times were you pulled over last year?” I haven’t been pulled over for about seven years. And that time was because the Canadian police didn’t have a record of my US driver’s license before I got a Canadian license. But this US senator had been pulled over seven times in one year for no other reason, apparently, than the color of his skin.
I suspect that I may be losing my Canadian friends at this point as I am talking about the US. For Canada, our reading from Matthew seems more appropriate. In Canada, we aren’t seeing protests but that doesn’t mean we’re insulated from racial injustice. I think the line from Matthew 10:26 applies to life here, “for nothing is covered up that will not be uncovered, and nothing secret that will not become known.” We don’t see racism in Canada because we are in the majority, what would be called privileged. But even here, downstairs in this very church, we had a Muslim woman speaker who said some disturbing words. She said people here in Edmonton tell her to go home, just because of the color of her skin and her religion. And she was born in Canada. Go home means stay in Canada! She told us that she is scared for the wellbeing of her son, because of the color of his skin and his religion. Carol’s own hairdresser, a Canadian of East-Indian decent, told her that when he and his friends went into a diner in Red Dear, the whole white crowd of customers were staring at him and his friends. They left without ordering.
And in Canada, the Truth and Reconciliation Commission began in 2007. That’s one year after I got here. The Truth and reconciliation Commission was established to repair the damage from the Residential Schools. The Residential Schools were set up to systematically destroy the Indigenous culture and spirituality. To eradicate every vestige of Native life and to replace it with the culture of white Christianity. Practically every Christian denomination was involved in the systematic obliteration of First Nations. Children of children of the Residential Schools are still suffering the effects of the schools. Their parents, who were interred in the schools didn’t grow up in families. They grew up in huge dormitories with little sanitary facilities. The Residential Schools largely succeeded. Many spirits of First Nations individuals have been crushed. Hence, their parenting skills are often diminished. Life on reservations is often impoverished, some even lack adequate drinking water. I’ve heard Canadians tell me that the government sends plenty of money to the reservations but the chiefs keep it all for themselves. I know a chief who told me he made $30,000 when he was serving his Nation. When I toured Blue Quills University in Saddle Lake, I noticed a stack of fliers that read, “Do you know anyone who has been murdered, or have you heard of anyone who was murdered?” Then there was a number to call and an office set up to deal with these murders. The fliers were just sitting there on the table. Have you yourself ever in your life seen a flier asking you if you know someone who was murdered? Then giving you a number to call? What does that say?
These issues I have been discussing are our symbolic father. They are the culture we have inherited. They are the society that has given us birth and these issues are the issues we have been brought up in. It is for this reason that Jesus says,
Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.
35 For I have come to set a man against his father,
and a daughter against her mother,
and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law;
36 and one’s foes will be members of one’s own household.
The voices that are rising up in the US are the sword of truth. In Swedenborg’s system of symbolism, a sword stands for truth. Jesus does not bring peace when there are festering wounds infecting society. Then Jesus calls us to set ourselves against our father, mother, and household when that family is diseased with injustice.
In Canada, we have issues of racial injustice, but no mass protests. It was a brave teen-aged girl who used her smart phone to record the murder of George Floyd that set off the powder keg in the US. We don’t have something like that smart phone recording here in Canada. Though the power of privilege and racial injustices are rampant under the peaceful surface of Canadian society.
“Do not think I have come to bring peace to the earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.” That sword of truth is intended to cut through the peaceful surface of unjust social structures. And we need to be swordsmen and women. It is our duty to seek out the truth and to become informed. I think it’s easy to go with what we’ve always heard. It’s easy to go with opinions about issues that may not be true. I personally know people in Canada who think that Muslim women like Salima are trying to overturn the Canadian legal system and replace it with Sharia Law. They think this especially about refugees from war torn middle eastern countries. It is opinions like this that need to be measured against the sword of truth. One truth about this very issue is, “Which Sharia Law?” There are at least four schools of Muslim tradition, much the same way we have Catholics, Lutherans, and Swedenborgians. Each of the more than four schools of Muslim tradition have their own style of Sharia Law. So the whole opinion that Muslims are trying to replace the Canadian legal system with Sharia Law falls apart when we ask which Muslim sect is trying to do this with what Sharia Law.
Swedenborg teaches that the religious life is characterized by a love for truth. In fact, faith itself is called a cohering arrangement of many truths. An incoherent mash of opinions is not faith. As Christians, it is incumbent on us to search for truth. As Christians, it is incumbent on us to measure our opinions against the sharp sword of truth.
And finally, Swedenborg teaches that the sword of truth must be wielded by a loving hand. It was Gandhi who said, “When you have a truth to tell, it must be given with love, or the message and the messenger will be rejected.” The riots and looting in the US got the attention of the world several weeks ago. But I suspect that the subsequent weeks of peaceful protests will do more to make lasting structural change in the US.
Well, this is supposed to be a Fathers’ Day sermon. I’ve gone all-in Swedenborgian, though, and spoken about father as our inherited evils. Not personal evils, but collective social evils. We Swedenborgians have an advantage in all this. Repentance, reformation, and regeneration are central doctrines in our theology. And never in my lifetime, has the call for repentance been louder. And our world is in dire need of reformation. And regeneration means re-birth. If we are zealous about our repentance, and dedicated to reformation, we will see a rebirth in society. We need to be aware of our privilege. And being of the privileged race, it is especially important for us to educate ourselves. And some of us may even be moved to wield the sword of truth to cut through centuries of oppression and social injustice. And the children of enslaved persons will finally find their rightful share in the prosperity we take for granted.
YOUTH, AGE, DEATH
13 Jun 2020 Leave a comment
in Blog Tags: age, Being, Charles Taylor, death, ethics, life, living, poem, religion, spirituality, time, youth
I’m not sure the way to think about death
Is to think about death
Mine will be around 30 years or so, likely
Some do not know 30 lived years yet
And to them, now, as it was to me, then, 30 years is a long time
But when your life is twice thirty plus
And 30 years ago means an ethics class on Charles Taylor at the University of Virginia
Vivid in the aging memory
Death is nearer
I say the young should not think about death
But revel in the animée of youth
Nor should anyone think about death
I believe we all should revel in animée
In age you mine the memory for what matters
Looking back over time, so many lives lived
Parent, child, sibling, friend, partner,
Student, apprentice, employee, employer, creator, maker, volunteer
So many ideologies following
Family values, local customs, blindly following the herd,
Breaking free of local customs, assimilating to new traditions
Ethical options adopted, opted for
Spirituality, religion, evolving principles of justice, righteousness
Age has much to sift through, choose, assent to, reject
Evaluating a life lived long
Choosing how to use life in remaining years
Anticipating life, how to live, live well, time that remains well
In remaining years, in future years
Possible eternity outside time and years and then where is death?
Options
Opting for a good life, life lived well, the good life, optimize
Exorcized ghosts of island martinis and beers past
Cast-off pass-times, past times, distractions, dreams of fame, cheering mobs, irascible passions
How to live, live well, care well
Caring for values that ground being
Ground of Being
And it is enough to be
Animée
Youth, age, death
Melanie: Woodstock’s Unsung Voice
27 Jan 2020 Leave a comment
in Blog Tags: candles, drugs, love, Melanie, peace, sex, spirituality, Woodstock
We still hear about Woodstock, even in 2020. But we hear only what the media wants us to hear about it. Media accounts of Woodstock make it look like the festival was all about drugs, sex, and rock-and-roll. But it wasn’t. Peace and love filled to spirit of the festival. Love isn’t just free love, or sex. It is a love for each other. And we don’t hear much about the spirit of Woodstock. And spirituality at Woodstock. Even in the four-hour documentary movie about Woodstock, there is no footage of Melanie. Melanie’s take on Woodstock makes the festival a spiritual experience. Indeed it was, or it wouldn’t be remembered. No one would remember just a week-end of drugs, sex, and rock-and-roll.
Listen to Melanie’s words about Woodstock in her song, “Lay Down (Candles in the Rain)”:
We were so close there was no room
We bled inside each others wounds
We all had caught the same disease
And we all sang the songs of peace
Some came to sing, some came to pray
Some came to keep the dark away
Melanie had a spiritual experience while performing at Woodstock, and the crowd knew it, and they were with her. She says,
“At that moment, 500,000 people saw me have this spiritual awakening because I realised that I wasn’t a body. The body is a separate thing to whatever you want to call it, the spirit or the soul or whatever. The actual being of me was not that body. I left. That moment that happened in front of those people, that was the uniqueness of Woodstock, for me. And even though people didn’t know what was happening, they knew something had happened. And they were with me.”
Melanie doesn’t use drugs, so the spirituality was real. There was that spirit, that spirituality at Woodstock, too. There were those who came to pray, to keep the darkness away, who sang songs of peace, who were so close they bled inside each others’ wounds.
For whatever reason, we don’t hear about that aspect of Woodstock. And we don’t hear about Melanie. She is Woodstock’s unsung voice. But for those of us lucky enough to know Melanie’s music and beautiful spirit, Melanie’s take on Woodstock gives as much light as 500,000 lit candles raised against the dark.
25 YEARS
30 Aug 2019 Leave a comment
in Blog Tags: avolition, bipolar disorder, Jesus, memory, performance, practicing, sleeping, soul, spirituality
25 years largely lost
Doctors call it avolition
No will even to get up
Sleeping
Days, weekends
Those 25 years could have been:
Practice time
Gigging
Progressing
But . . .
25 years largely lost
Mind turned to fog
Memory shot
Which is an end to learning
Thought processes so slow
Which is an end to performance
Where I could have been
But . . .
25 years largely lost
I see my friends
Where they’re at
Where I could have been
But . . .
25 years largely lost
But then . . .
There’s the soul
“My kingdom is not of this world”
Spirituality
Humility, compassion, neighbor-love
“I do not give to you as the world gives”
“Where your treasure is, there your heart will be.”
I could have come to worse
25 years of spiritual progress
Literary Criticism: Tom Wolfe
17 Jan 2019 Leave a comment
in Blog Tags: criticism, Norman Mailer, secularity, spirituality, Tom Wolfe
Tom Wolfe astounds me whenever I read him, and I am reading him again, now. He is, perhaps, one of the most gifted writers of this generation. Wolfe writes about the depth and surface of human experience. People too often, and mistakenly, talk about Wolfe’s interest in status. That’s there, of course, but Tom Wolfe can write with insight and sensitivity about the soul, about spirituality, and the conflict of spirituality with the contemporary world and its vapid secularity–giving all their own voice.
Sometimes it is difficult to recognize the shining stars in the age in which they live. For instance, Norman Mailer was a sensation in his day, but I don’t think anyone will be reading him for much longer, if anyone still is. Tom Wolfe will continue to be read for generations because his novels are engaging, profound, artistic, and bespeak truths about the human condition that are timeless.
Tom Wolfe’s work has received mixed critical response. Some prominent authors of the generation preceding him panned him. I don’t know what gets into critics’ heads, sometimes. You often see hubris and arrogance in them that makes them think that they have an Olympian voice about everything beneath them from their lofty height. Hemingway once said he thought he should break the jaw of one critic every year. Wolfe’s works surpass the accepted authors preceding him who panned him. Wolfe will live on while they are forgotten.
Wolfe delights, engages, paints realistic characters, realistic situations, and comments on the vital issues of human existence. I am casting this criticism out into the cyber-world as enthusiasm which must find voice, and as a recommendation to anyone who hasn’t yet been touched by this abiding artist.
Religion and the Onslaught of the ’60’s
23 Nov 2018 Leave a comment
in Blog Tags: Auden, Beethoven, indifference, religion, spirituality
In the movie MASH Hawkeye observes Major Frank Burns praying, and remarks, “Have you ever seen this syndrome before?” Duke replies, “Not in someone over the age of eight.” That interchange captures the spirit of the late ’60’s/late ’70’s. Irreverent, anti-authority, self-confident, free love,–and in the movie, elitist.
I grew up in the ’60’s/’70’s and feel that there is much to be treasured from that era, now gone. Peace and love, philosophy, self-reliance, music, freedom, individuality. But along with these ideals, this idealistic time, came the kind of spirit that MASH captures so well. Religion is ridiculed and the religious Frank Burns is an intolerable character.
Where so we go from there? The spirit of the ’60’s/’70’s declared religion to be childish and ridiculous, and irreverent camaraderie to be the virtue of the day. I think society bought it, and that those values persist today. People turn to pop-culture to find behavioral norms and proprieties. And for some, probably a lot, there is no place for prayer, no use for prayer.
Churches are failing, even synagogues and mosques are seeing diminution in attendance. A while back I thought we are in a “post-Christian” age. Now I see it as a “post-religious” age. Even the “spiritual-but-not-religious” demographic is less than half of North American culture, and only a fraction of the population in Europe.
Certainly there were bad ideas in religions. Certainly there were abuses of power. Certainly there was hypocrisy. But religion also contributed some of society’s most glorious cultural artworks, literature, philosophy, and, of course, theology. The religious and spiritual impulse is a beautiful aspect in the human situation. It makes the psyche sing. It gives us honesty, sincerity, generosity, care for others, the quest for truth, repentance and human perfection, and ecstasy. Without spirituality, what are we left with?
“But on earth indifference is the least/We have to dread from man or beast,” the poet W. H. Auden writes. I don’t know. I fear indifference. I can’t but feel that the indifference to religion and even spirituality is numbing society. We’re getting bland to everything, getting bland. And we are retreating into tribes. Instead of spiritual community that reaches out to the stranger and foreigner, we are retreating into tribes that close off the other. We ignore religion to the peril of the loving community that the world can be. While religion is often castigated for causing wars, I think that the lack of genuine religion is causing us to be more xenophobic and antagonistic to the other. Will the indifference of our age ever produce another work like Beethoven’s 9th? Will we ever know again the peace that passes understanding? Will we ever again sing, “Love divine! All loves excelling!”
Personal Transformation at the 2018 Parliament of the World’s Religions
09 Nov 2018 Leave a comment
in Blog Tags: change, church, Parliament, religions, spirituality, Swedenborgian, traditions
Over the dates November 1-7, I had the privilege of attending the 2018 Parliament of the World’s Religions in Toronto, Canada—“The Promise of Inclusion, the Power of Love: Pursuing Global Understanding, Reconciliation, and Change.” I will be posting a series of blogs about my experiences there, which were extraordinary. I am not the same Swedenborgian I was before the Parliament. I understand my own tradition differently, understand religion differently, understand more fully all the richness that God’s world is. I learned in general that encountering other religions is much more than intellectually inquiring about beliefs. I learned much about many traditions and perspectives. But it would be a mistake to think that one now understands a tradition that others have spent their lives growing into. The Parliament of the World’s Religions is a taste, not a meal.
The seminars were divided into 10 categories: 1) Justice, 2) Women’s Dignity, 3) Global Ethic, 4) Next Generation, 5) Countering Hate and Violence, 6) Sacred Space, 7) Indigenous Peoples’ Program, 8) Climate Action, 9) Interfaith Understanding, 10) Science and Religion. As is always the case at these kinds of gatherings, you can’t do everything. There are several seminars going on at the same time. It took me about an hour and a half to figure out how to read the program guide and to decide on the seminars I would attend.
Sometimes what happens in the hallways between seminars, at conferences like the Parliament, is as valuable as what happens in the seminars themselves. Previous to the formal opening, I had delightful conversations with a few people in the convention centre lobby while we were all looking over the 380-page program guide. One couple from Washington State told me that they were from the Unity tradition, among other interfaith groups. I asked them how their church was doing. “If by ‘church’ you mean what is tied to a building, that might be questionable; but if you mean ‘church’ as a movement, I’d say it’s doing wonderfully well.” Already, I’d learned something. From my own tradition, I thought about what the New Church really is. We were joined by another couple who were interfaith ministers. They said that their outlook on religion is “not ‘instead-of,’ but rather, ‘in addition to.’” By that I understood varieties of religion to supplement each other, rather than compete with each other for who’s right is righter than who’s. I was off to a good start.
Attending the Parliament of the World’s Religions was spiritually transforming for me. Such a compressed, intense exposure to leaders of other faith traditions must have a powerful impact on a seeker with an open mind. Nevertheless, reflecting on my experiences, I realize that however intense my exposure was, my grounding is in my own tradition. My own understanding has been given a good jolt in a positive direction. Areas of my own faith that weren’t working for me, have been adjusted by techniques from other religions that do work. I am enjoying seeing the world differently than I saw it before the Parliament. I am enjoying the world more than I had before the Parliament. I am enjoying my fellows here on earth better than I did before the Parliament. It will take some time before I fully integrate my experiences at the Parliament into my spiritual life.
I didn’t expect to be so moved by the Parliament. I did expect to learn and celebrate, but not to be transformed. I will share meaningful experiences from those remarkable seven days in the upcoming posts. It is my story, but others may find meaning in it, and may find inspiration to further investigate truths from the traditions I experienced by their own methods of spiritual questing.
THE LEXICON OF LANGUAGE
20 Sep 2018 Leave a comment
in Blog Tags: art, class, doctrines, ecstasy, lexicography, literature, peace, prayer, science, sin, spirituality
Human community is the lexicon of language
Shared speech defines word and syntax
I know holy language, spoken among
Those self-identified spiritual
The lexicon of holy books, prayer, chant, doctrines
To whom these matter
I know ecstasy and peace
I know sin and craving
Shadow only exists by sunshine
I know secular language, spoken among
Those self-identified disinterested to spirituality
The lexicon of sciences, literature, arts, pop-culture, ego-gratification, social standing
To whom only these matter, or matter largely
I know class, sophistication, cultivation
I act the fool, commit faux-pas, social blunders
What honest human doesn’t, can’t, won’t
Secular language grounds the holy
As bark encloses trees, skin encloses the body, callous
Only flowers are unprotected