Mike noticed me shaking
Playing at an open stage
The way we had in clubs years ago
The legacy of my psychotic episode years ago,
The effects persisting in my involuntary shakes, fear, and incompetence
Brett noticed me shaking
Almost convulsing onstage at the keyboard
It never used to be like that
The ease, the drive I had to perform
Then the caving fear onstage
The lingering apathy that stole
My passion to play hour upon hour at home
Getting better hour upon hour enthralled
Or onstage before crowds
Eager, excited, up
Darryl tried to jam with me last spring
Remembering my former ability
Thinking me as capable as it used to be
It was sad, the attempt, his generosity
One player quenched by bipolar disorder
Likely doesn’t mean much
But it does to me
David Fekete 