I will be at scales, tonight
Despite my flaws, Carol accepts me as perfect for her
She is perfect for me, our world is perfect
As perfect as can be this side of eternity
But the world isn’t Carol
My world can’t be only Carol, can’t be only our world
The world doesn’t care about me as does Carol—why would it?
There are 24 key signatures, all with their scales
48, if you count pentatonic scales, then there are 7 modes in every key
Though, to me, the modes are another matter
This all is expected of me, of every musician; I expect it of me
If I’m not careful, I’ll rest content in Carol’s valuation of my worth
Rest in the perfect world our own, in our care for each other
Carol doesn’t care about scales—why would she?
Though she is my whole world, we are the whole world to each other
The world is not Carol
If I’m going to solo in Santana, I had better be sure in my scales
Then, eternity is more than scales
And the man playing the scales is as the music in eternity
Time was, that man was all that mattered to me
But the world is not eternity
Even if I think I’ll find eternity planted in the world, through the world
It isn’t either-or, the world and eternity
It’s good to plant my feet on the ground, even if the ground be art
Carol likes it when I play a song for her
SCALES
05 Aug 2021 Leave a comment
in Blog Tags: complacency, contentment, flaws, love, modes, music, poem, poetry, Santana, scales, self-worth, worth
Shelley and that Contentment Surpassing Wealth
26 Sep 2018 Leave a comment
in Blog Tags: Beethoven, contentment, psyche, sage, satisfaction, Shelley, Turgenev, wealth
Shelley makes reference to “that content surpassing wealth/The sage in meditation found,/And walked with inward glory crowned” (Stanzas Written in Dejection, near Naples). The poet laments that he doesn’t have that content, but notices that, “Others I see whom these surround–/Smiling they live, and call life pleasure.” It’s likely not my place to say whether I walk with inward glory, but I do number myself among those who have that content surpassing wealth. That is, usually I have that content surpassing wealth. Lately, I’ve been telling my acquaintances that I’m wealthy. When they raise their eyebrows, I clarify by saying that I feel wealthy. I have everything I want. An outside observer, looking at my possessions, likely would wonder how I could feel that way. My condo is small, I drive a 10-year-old Honda, my material possessions are few, my clothes are not expensive. But the possessions I do have satisfy my wants superbly. The contentment surpasses wealth probably because it depends on a certain attitude toward wealth.
When an individual isn’t concerned with wealth, then lacking it doesn’t sting. Then there are the other things a person can concern oneself with that don’t cost much, but reward much. A good paperback book doesn’t cost much. And the satisfaction one receives from a good book contributes greatly to the contentment sages in meditation find. A good book and reflection on it, is a sagely undertaking. A Beethoven symphony can be downloaded for $9.99. Time spent with a Beethoven symphony is a sagely undertaking. Each piece of great art works on the soul, making the individual different after each encounter. Art and knowledge form a person’s psyche. A psyche who seeks an encounter with something spiritual, like a Turgenev novel, will find contentment. My edition of Turgenev cost me $21.00, and will last me weeks, and then the lasting satisfaction my soul will enjoy after my encounter with it. But a psyche who chases wealth, power, status, and fame will likely not find contentment. They are all unquenchable cravings, and no matter how much of each one possesses, it will never be enough.
Lately, my spiritual seeking has been leading me into discontent. I am planning to attend the Parliament of the World’s Religions, which is being held in Toronto this year. Finding lodging I can afford, securing a flight, and negotiating the public transportation of a foreign city are all anxiety provoking, and a strain on my modest finances. But having attended the previous one in Salt Lake City, I anticipate an ultimately rewarding and fulfilling experience in Toronto. The temporary anxiety that goes into the achievement of this spiritual goal will be rewarded with a lasting spiritual formation in my soul, during and after the event. With my aspirations set on humanistic and spiritual acquisition, I expect to continue through my life, as I do now, according to Shelley’s words, “Smiling they live, and call life pleasure.”
Life Is
24 Apr 2018 Leave a comment
in Blog Tags: bitterness, complacent, contentment, Harvard, life, music, poetry, rich
“You’re going to have a hard life,”
My boss told me, in my 20’s
I’ve had dreams crushed, my heart broken
But who hasn’t
I’ve lived impoverished a long time
I didn’t feel it as a Harvard student
When I got my Ph.D.
I was worse than impoverished, deeply in debt
And I felt it
I’ll likely never get out of debt
I wrote and published a book
When I was poor
I lowered myself to begging a few times
Was relegated to the back seat of a lot of cars others owned
All the while I played and wrote music, poetry, lyrics
Some people live a comfortable life
To them, a good life
But shit happens, even to them
Some people are rich and complacent
Some people are very rich and dedicated to acquisition
I have known a few years of comfortable middle-class
And bought expensive art prints
A piano, an amp, guitar
A couple crystalline rocks
I travel places with my partner
My life has been hard at times
And I have known accomplishment, and contentment, and bitterness
I have no regrets