Faith in Unbelief

14 May 2017 1 Comment

by davidfekete123 in Uncategorized Tags: , , , ,

I am one struggling to have faith in unbelief.

Contrary to many, I feel that religion is a positive force in the world.  Where else will a person find teachings that oppose the excessive consumption, greed, and vanity of western capitalist culture?  Where else will a person be valued not by the clothes they wear, but by who they are?

The May meeting of the Faith and Order Convening table of the National Council of Churches of Christ USA just concluded.  There are 38 different Christian denominations that are members of the NCCC USA.  I think that we do a pretty good job of working together considering the differences among our 38 denominations.  Some may find it hard to believe that there are 38 different Christian denominations–and I don’t think that there should be.

As a Swedenborgian in the NCCC USA, I have an uphill battle.  Despite the good will we have for one another, there are still religious prejudices.  Although there is an impressive list of poets, philosophers, and literati who have been avid readers of Swedenborg, the Swedenborgian connection has been actively suppressed.  Scholars and theologians don’t want a Swedenborg in their world.

For things like this, and other division-causing reasons, some have turned away from religion.  Perhaps many.  As a believer, this concerns me.  Religion has taught me so much wisdom, and has guided me out of hellish behaviours that I can’t imagine life without it.

But spiritual people, who aren’t religious, do find guidance and a higher power.  Where, I wonder, and how do such people find their way to God?  I know that God flows into every heart and mind and guides.  Even without God, people live good lives and have conscience.

I would have to have a trust in humanity to believe that without the nurture of religion, people will find their way to a life dedicated to others, and not themselves.  To believe that unbelievers have it in them to save themselves and the world around them, and to care.  Robert Frost puts it well, “Whether we have it in us to save ourselves unaided.”  It’s that “unaided” that gives me pause.  Without God, without religion, where does humanity find that power to save–save themselves, and the world?

I am one struggling to have faith in unbelief.

Sonnet: Carol and the Limits of Language

11 May 2017 Leave a comment

by davidfekete123 in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , ,

When Shakespeare sought to praise his love

He found that words and language failed

No metaphor or symbol was enough

Every comparison simply paled

 

If no one used our language better

And the words of our best poet wouldn’t do

How could I arrange line, word, and letter

And begin to rightly praise you?

 

Only with the language of my heart

And only with the truth that’s in my eyes

Can I begin to hope to try a start

To rightly tell the beauty that in you lies

 

The limitations of the written word

Will never speak as loving hearts when heard.

What Olding Means

09 May 2017 Leave a comment

by davidfekete123 in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , ,

Olding means the recollection of skills you’ve lost

And revelling in a lifetime’s practised accomplishment in one, or a few

Olding means counting your age by the number of injuries you’ve collected that don’t heal

You can measure your age by your patience

–The things that no longer set you off

You can feel your age by the ease sound judgements bring

You know your age by moderation,

–Having overcome impulse and craving

Olding age has seen a lot, and undersdtands, bears, and tolerates

Olding age lived well is wise

I hope young people will look forward to olding

–All the while enjoying their journey

And that olding people settle in happily to their age-right

As I did and do

The Applicability of Experience

09 May 2017 Leave a comment

by davidfekete123 in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , ,

From science, I learned to sift through irrelevant information and find the essential fact.

This has helped me chair meetings.

From lectures in school, I learned to listen well.

This has helped me minister to my neighbour.

From writing term papers, I learned to express complex ideas simply.

This has helped me to talk.

From reading poetry, I learned to capture volumes in sentences.

This has helped me to write.

From adversity, I learned perseverance.

This has brought me accomplishments.

From broken dreams, I learned to bear pain.

This has taught me to love.

How A Poet Says Goodbye

06 May 2017 Leave a comment

by davidfekete123 in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , ,

WORDS AS FOCI FOR ART

Words can be music if spoken

Sonorous sentiment

Words, the substance of

Lexicons, dictionaries, etymologies

Meaning

Words are rigorously attached to their definitions

Meanings, less so

Words can trace back into a vacant etymology

Meaning detach from word

Attachments, words

Weak modes of connection

Breaking under the strain they must carry

Silence

Time together spent silent

Conjoining time

Left to language

Lexicons, dictionaries, etymologies

Definitions, music, meaning

Words

The substance of drama

Scripted language

The extended moment together

Sharing a single script together

Comedy or tragedy

Ribaldry, betrayal

The curtain comes down

Bringing the play to its quietus

Each returns to private discourse

Departing from the play

Fiction for fact

What was made

Left lifeless

The text closed.

Geode

03 May 2017 Leave a comment

by davidfekete123 in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , ,

I bought a geode at a New Age store

–So like my being’s core

Unbecoming outside

Oh, but beautiful inside

Appearing unresponsive, hard, or harsh at first sight

Oh, I’ll fight

In a world with so much violence

So much negligence

So many who don’t seem to care

I despise the callous shell I feel I need to wear

For I am weak

Unlike Love lived out in a world gone dark and bleak

Inside hide facets of love I long to share

Oh, I care

So much love I have to release

And do in too few places

Those opened spaces

When there is peace

In holy times

In safe, sheltered, placid climes

In sacred spaces, among hearts beloved

Among sacred hearts, peacefully moved

 

When the crusty world breaks open

So often merely broken

Shattered

Wits scattered

When dreams, comfort, complacency quake

Break

Hearts open and lay bare

When comfort and complacency tear

I found my torn open heart and nurtured and cultivated

And prayed and wept and meditated

My soul sublimated

And hard-hearted adamant beatified

Inside

Though whenever fractious forces weep and subside

The beauty shows

Love flows

Received and bestowed

Shining and reflecting like my opened geode

And Goodbye

27 Apr 2017 Leave a comment

by davidfekete123 in Uncategorized Tags: , ,

And goodbye; we celebrate the parting,

And togetherness–aye both we share–

And bitterness: the herald of our starting

Life again, again–you here, I there.

 

It seems forever when the gulf looms before us

And years together collapse upon themselves into

Seconds of bitter meaning:

It’s always goodbye.

Places and Friendships and Goodbyes

26 Apr 2017 1 Comment

by davidfekete123 in Uncategorized Tags: , , , ,

I’m a long way from home

And those customs I’ve outgrown.

Each new direction’s pointed toward success

In this foundationless infinite regress.

 

Here alone, I’m feeling

How many times

I’ve said goodbye

To those I’ve loved, the places I’ve known.

 

Guess I’ve done what I had to

Or what seemed to be good moves–

The kind of thing I should be glad to do

But for all those good times and broken loves.

 

How long can I survive

Moving around

Wanting a home

A long-time friend, someone to trust.

When Art Tries to Be Art

25 Apr 2017 Leave a comment

by davidfekete123 in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , ,

When art tries to be art it fails and offends.  Novels should be a good story, film should be good drama, music should be rhythmic and melodious, poetry should be the marriage of sound and sense, paintings should be about space, figure, and form, and beauty is important, as is passion in all this.

I saw a movie that began with a woman walking in a graveyard, in the autumn.  “Here we go,” I thought.  Where could the movie go from there?  As the story progressed, it kept cutting back to the woman walking in the graveyard.  Something about death intruding into a quite ordinary story.  Then there are films with odd camera angles.  An odd camera angle that adds to the dramatic tension works.  But there are too many films that show odd angles for their own sake, under the mistaken assumption that those camera angles make a mediocre movie into art.

I’ve heard musicians who add performance art into their songs, so that they will be artistic.  I saw a singer wrap herself in a blanket with an image of the whole world on it, as she bowed.  I wasn’t sure of her point, but I was sure she was trying to be artistic.

I’ve read poets who use precious words, poetic words, so that they would be making poetry.  One such word is gossamer.

I saw an artwork that was a spiral cut of paper with great works of art reproduced on it.  Something about art being about art.

A good story will be art.  A good poem doesn’t need poetic words to be art.  A riveting movie will be art.  A song that touches the soul and bespeaks humanity’s pain, joy, and passion will be art.  A painting you can’t take your eyes off will be art.  Art doesn’t need to try to be art.

Why I’m Glad I’m Sober

22 Apr 2017 1 Comment

by davidfekete123 in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , ,

I’ve seen both sides.  I lived a long time drunk or high every day.  And when I wasn’t high I was thinking about getting high.  Here’s the things I did when I was a drunk:

  • get mad so I needed a drink
  • get drunk

Now I live a clean and sober life.  Here’s the things I do, now that I am sober:

  • write music
  • record original music and play with other musicians
  • form healthy relationships
  • play card games with friends
  • volunteer in interfaith functions
  • sit on a faculty committee
  • teach classes at church
  • organize lecture series
  • feel my emotions
  • read philosophy, poetry, and fiction
  • go out on dates without drinking
  • listen to live music and hear it and enjoy it
  • write poetry
  • buy art with the money I don’t spend on drugs
  • enjoy life
  • laugh and cry

There are still struggles in life and hard days.  But, as a musician friend of mine said about the process of recording my original music, “enjoy the process.”

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