“SUCCESS” 101

16 Mar 2026 Leave a comment

by davidfekete123 in Uncategorized Tags: , , , ,

BRAD’S STATUS, Ben Stiller “not comedy,” 2017–STATUS 101

“Before you seek status and “success,” define both”–Rintrah, The Dave, Doctor Detroit.

     I wrote down quotes during the movie, because it felt like it was made for me. It took place in Boston, about a young composer applying to Harvard (Ben Stiller’s son). This post won’t be developed as a formal essay.

       Stiller founded a minor non-profit and is comfortably middle-class. All his friends are extremely successful and rich. 

     But in one scene, a second-year Harvard student tells 47-year-old Ben Stiller about his life:

     “Trust me, I promise you, you have enough. Why are you competing at all?”

   Stiller meets a university friend for dinner. His friend is a highly respected tv news journalist. Between admirers in the restaurant, he says to Stiller,

     “Good to see you! Glad you came to Boston; where are you staying?”

Stiller tells him some budget hotel,

     “Wow, I don’t know anyone who stayed there. Is it nice? Say, why DID you move to Sacramento?”

Compared with Boston, Sacramento is not on his friend’s map; and the hotel isn’t good enough for the journalist’s friends to have stayed there.

     Stiller stops at Tufts University to visit an old professor, who was a mentor–Stiller was his favourite student, too. But he recently passed. Stiller’s friend the tv journalist was asked to speak at the service; Stiller didn’t even know, and would have liked to have attended. The secretary tells him about his recent passing:

STILLER: “He was a great teacher.”

SECRETARY: “He was a sweet man.”

At the end, Brad asks,

     “Hey dad, are you having some kind of nervous breakdown or something?” He’s found out dad spent all night talking to the Harvard girl.

     “No. It’s just . . . I have doubts . . . worry that people look at me and think of me as a failure . . . then, the feeling passes.”

     Talking to the Harvard students, Stiller wonders about doing it all over again. He regrets, “All the lives I’ve never lived.” 

I never have. A “Do Over” would be my life.

     When the famous tv journalist first meets jp with Ben Stiller in a swanky Boston restaurant, he says,

     “You failed in life–failed to stay young!”

     In one scene, Stiller is scolding Brad on the Boston streets because Brad does not think a Harvard professor is cool enough. Brad is embarrassed. The movie’s conclusion recalls that scene:

BRAD: “I thought everyone would remember that scene on the streets, and I’d never live it down. But they won’t remember. Everyone’s just thinking about themselves. The only one who’s thinking about you is me. So, the only person whose opinion you should care about is mine.”

STILLER: “What’s your opinion?”

BRAD: “I love you.”

ENIGMATIC DR DAVE ENTERPRISES, PRELUDED

I don’t have a pension, I’m unemployed living on $1,700 a month, I’m couch surfing, my car was repossessed, I have 2 banks suing me. I feel like I’m a success. 

     My sister received a Master’s Degree in ESL, and had a good career. She said,

     “You went for prestige; I went for practicality.”

For those who don’t know, my Master’s Degree is from Harvard.

Screenshot

“PANIC STATE” My Song; My Psychosis

20 Feb 2026 Leave a comment

by davidfekete123 in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , 

     PANIC STATE: The Lead Vocalist for DAVE MATTHEWS BAND likes it! They told me in Charlottesville, in 1992 when I wrote it. I was playing through it, in a piano rehearsal room in the U Virginia Music School. DAVE MATTHEWS was trying out different configurations for his band: word was, "Something big is in the works." 

    Playing through it, tonight, I LOVE it. I'm astounded. 

     My bass teacher in Florida is a Berkeley School of Music graduate. He said the chord changes were too hard for him. They were for me, too--almost. I can play them now, and soon will make a recording. 
     
     When you write a note three bars down from the staff, it can get hard to count. I thought it is an Fb, but it's an Eb, below the third bar line down. It doesn't make me smart or anything: it means it has to be written down. So, you figure out how to write it, and there isn't any other way. 

     My Music Partner in Charlottesville always respected my musicianship--some other players did, too. But but I didn't realize it, and didn't have a strong profile. I was a Ph.D. Religious Studies Major.

     I asked the singer for DAVE MATTHEWS BAND, because I wrote it just before my psychotic hospitalization. I had lost my perspective. I couldn't evaluate anything--was an author's point a solid argument I could rely on to quote? Why does everything look like a cartoon of reality? My close friend told me I'd list my gift for poetry. He'd read my poems at Harvard, and said my poems as a Ph.D. Candidate lost it. 
     Now, 34 years later, I'm astounded. Can a composer say that about their own compositions? 

     It hurts, which makes me bitter and I can lash out that Edmonton does nor not credit me as someone who can write PANIC STATE. 

     The Internet world changes what "local" means. I consider a poet in Portugal my brother. An Architect in Transylvania, my sister. I have a colleague who is an Art Professor in Italy who travels and posts photographs of Temples and Statues in India, and orher places in Asia. When PANIC STATE gets a good recording, "locals" on the Internet will give me a listen. Maybe a friend I knew in 1992 in THE DAVE MATTHEWS BAND will hear it, and then it doesn't matter if someone on Edmonton's streets listens, or knows who I am.
     Edmonton favours its own. I like a lot of Edmonton Players.

ENIGMATIC DR DAVE ENTERPRISES, PRELUDED