In The Lovesong of J Alfred Prufrock, one theme is the interplay between self and other. The narrator appears to be overpowered by the social forces with which he interacts. He is “fixed in a formulated phrase,” “pinned and wriggling on the wall” by others. His constant refrain–“Do I dare,” “How should I presume?”
But there is more than spinelessness at work here. The narrator is on the verge of asking, “An overwhelming question.” Some think that he is going to propose marriage. But Eliot and the narrator are possessed of greater depth than nervousness about proposing. The overwhelming question is, in fact, religious. The fear is of bring up deep matters in a superficial environment. How should I presume? The narrator has “wept and fasted, wept and prayed.” The narrator is about to break the complacency of a tea party,
Would it have been worth while,
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
To say: “I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all”—
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
Should say: “That is not what I meant at all. That is not it, at all.”
I recently wrote about being true to oneself regardless of social pressures to conform. But I must confess that there are environments in which a person can’t be oneself, especially when one is particularly spiritual. When one is in a superficial environment, one can’t really talk on a depth level. It would not be received. One would be ridiculed, ignored–as in Eliot’s poem–even be met with anger. Try being a divinity student in a bar. The social disjunct, the ridicule, the inappropriate context all make it nearly impossible to be spiritual in a secular environment, a secular world. How should I presume?
Eliot himself was Prufrock. He kept his Christianity to himself until his reputation was firmly established. Then he converted to Anglo-Catholic Christianity publicly and wrote Four Quartets. At that point his literary career became a bit suspect. And much of his later work, like The Cocktail Party, is bland to the point of being insufferable.
But I am a fan of Eliot. And as a Swedenborgian, I know what it is like to have a deep spirituality that one can’t speak of in most public venues. I have expanded my social network to include an interfaith organization, an interdenominational Christian organization. And in these environments I can be openly Swedenborgian and be well-received. But in the blues club, in 12-step organizations, in casual environments I seem to need to keep it all inside. It isn’t a matter of fear. It is more a matter of good taste. I would not abandon my Swedenborgianism, it’s just something others don’t care to hear about, and I respect the others with whom I socialize. In Jacob’s dream, the angels ascended and descended the ladder–they didn’t stay always at the top.
David Fekete 